| "fuck you, you're so french." |
[01 Nov 2007|11:24pm] |
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november 1st. really?
everything is happening so quickly. everything is changing. this semester ends next month and I need to apply to berkeley. I don't even want to go to berkeley anymore. i've been hearing so many different opinions about it nowadays it just makes me uneasy. i'm actually tired of this area all together. don't get me wrong, berkeley is a beautiful place with beautiful people, but that's always been me. can't sit still. if it weren't for my job I would pack up and go. i take home as much free food and bread from the most delicious bakery in rockridge every night. i'm not even really interested in architecture anymore. i've been in school for so fucking long I feel like this is never going to end. and i'm so close too, great time to feel this way. for years I knew someone who was a huge motivational figure to me. we've grown so far apart now if it weren't for old photographs stored away on my hard drive i'd forget what she even looked like. our last conversation didn't go so well. it's hard to find someone who sparked ambition like she did. I don't really know what i'm interested in anymore. all I really do now is fix my puegeot or play music with mason every now and then but the only time we're both home is late at night. everything has changed. even a year ago I would have never pictured this. hopefully within the next 6-8 months i'll be studying in torino, taking a train to prague or madrid on the weekends, or even visit a good friend in saint-dié-des-vosges. everyone is giving me the green light except for my mother. she has always been accepting with all of my decisions except this one. she's always blaming herself, being so unstable and moving so many times while raising us. it definitely did have an effect on me but I tell her i'm just curious. I want to experience other lifestyles and see if and how i'm accepted in them. why do we all develop this fascination for foreign cultures when where we live is already so diverse? we have it all at our doorstep. even my motorbike is french, not to mention i've almost died on it (more than once) already. no one sees you 36 inches off the ground flying through intersections at 45mph at 1 in the morning. I swear that bike will be the death of me.
hopefully I can get back in gear before my grades go to shit. my parents would be so disappointed. I used to have dreams of becoming a successful architect living in one of my own beautiful creations but lately i've been broke as hell and don't see my financial situation improving anytime soon. I knew it would be either one way or the other. I always feared this one the most. it was kind of inevitable. regardless, I can't complain. I have hobbies, I have friends, I am loved, I couldn't be happier. I guess it's just good to vent, because I knew you'd read this.
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[24 Jun 2007|11:29pm] |
I fell asleep on bart today. almost missed my stop.
I was awaken by a shirtless man playing bongo drums.
oh fuck it
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[23 Jun 2007|11:29am] |
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It's been a year. A lot has changed living in Berkeley. I don't know how many of you are still on this thing, but if you are, ( here's what you've been missing. )
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[29 May 2006|07:47pm] |
hope she likes it.
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[16 May 2006|12:24am] |
a year ago today:
HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY BILLYYY
!!!
less than three you.
Coffee.
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[11 May 2006|06:30pm] |
and as i walked off campus knowing it would be my last day there
i couldn't help but smile
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[22 Mar 2006|07:31pm] |
if i could be any yoga pose i would be this one:
THE LOCUST
ahahhah kristyna this is ridiculous.
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[18 Mar 2006|11:10am] |
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If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.
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[08 May 2005|04:19pm] |
i'm going friends only from now on.
sorry.
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the_15th's journal
